30 weeks!

Kablam! That's the sound of me busting into the 3rd trimester and then take 2 big steps inside. I am now 30 weeks - 2 weeks into my 3rd trimester. I haven't done any stats in a while, so I think I'll indulge:

Weeks to full term: 7
Weeks to due date: 10
Weeks until bedrest is in the rearview mirror: 4
Weeks since bedrest sentence handed down: 11
Pounds gained: 34
Contractions per day: <10 each day the entire past week. Sometimes up to 25

There's a funny thing about having bad stuff in your past, once you are past it and at a more comfortable point, people become historical revisionists. Well, certainly not everyone. But even I have trouble conjuring the panic I felt when I got the shortened cervix diagnosis at 18 weeks - and over the next 2 weeks when it got progressively shorter.

I was talking on the phone to a good friend yesterday. She and I are both speech pathologists so we talked about kids born at 30 weeks we'd seen in the past (modern medicine is amazing - they tend to be indistinguishable from other kids by the time I see them at 5 years) and how great it was to be at this point. Then the conversation turned to the news at 18 weeks. She remarked "That was scary." And although I know it was scary, it was important to have someone else say it.

It's important because I never want to forget to appreciate this baby, for herself and for the gift of finally having something good happen after so many crappy things. After years of infertility treatments, surgeries, miscarriage and then terrifying bedrest and a risk of preterm labor, I just don't want to revise history now knowing that it would all be ok. I don't want to look back and think that that Kim was overreacting a bit because all she had to do was wait a year or two.

It's easy to forget to be appreciative of what you have.

We've picked out a name (I think). The first name means "life" and the second name means "people of victory." And while I don't think her entire life should be defined by how difficult her short time in utero and the journey to get her there was - I hope it helps me remember how precious she and the Bean are. Because as we all know - nothing is guaranteed.