I have a few questions today.
First, what is wrong with me? I went to the OB this week for the follow up and he doesn't think I have retained placenta. I was fairly sure I did because I have the same symptoms I had after the Bean was born. But the uterus is the right size and that makes it unlikely that my continued bleeding is due to retained placenta. Nonetheless, he had to tip his hat to my tendency to beat the odds - in a bad way. I'm to come back in 4 weeks.
But I get to my question. I found myself feeing a little let down. I realized I won't be going to the OB much anymore, nor the RE and it felt a little - empty. Not that I want to get back on the ride, not that I don't appreciate being off the ride more than anything. I don't know what it is. I think I got so used to being on the ride that I marked time by it (how long until my next cycle? How long until beta day? and so on).
In other news-- my next question.
Does anyone know of a blog in which the writer's baby had an apnea monitor?
I'm going a bit crazy with this thing. We saw the pulmonologist on Monday and he said he thinks the event that sent us to the hospital (in which she turned blue) was a) not a major event (because she came right around with just a few taps) and b) was probably just due to very shallow breathing during REM sleep. He said sometimes babies can even turn a little blue during those times. I'm not so sure, but he's pretty well regarded and he says he's never seen an incident like this amount to anything (but please see that in my life we have a tendency to beat the medical odds - not in a good way).
I was getting comfortable with this diagnosis and, by extension, with the Bug, when I got a real alarm today (not a leads-disconnected alarm). It may have been a false positive since right before that I disconnected the wires 3 or 4 times while trying to get her out of her bassinet, the bassinet out of the stroller frame and diaper bag into the car, while holding a screaming infant. It's possible with all that pulling that the leads were moved and could still pick up regular breathing, but not shallow sleepy breathing (which is what she was doing when it went off).
It was a brief alarm, she wasn't blue in the least, but it really took the wind out of my sails. When, when, when can I just enjoy my baby?
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2 comments:
I'm so sorry, Kim. I can't begin to imagine how difficult all this must be for you.
I'm afraid I don't know the answers to your questions, but am thinking about you, and willing the Bug to grow strong enough to dispense with the monitor.
Hang on in there!
I'm an apnea monitor survivor :-) Man, can that thing set your nerves on edge or what?!
We had the monitor for about 8 or 9 months, if I recall correctly (she's now 15 months old) and, can I just say "yikes?" It does get easier, I promise you. We had plenty of those sleepy shallow breaths that set the alarm off, along with a lot of loose connection alarms. Not fun.
I'd be glad to answer any questions you may have about my experience. It was a double-edged sword for me--one the one hand, you are grateful to have the monitor there 'just in case' but, on the other hand, you just want 'normal,' and the monitor has a certain small connotation of 'not normal.'
This too shall pass, honest.
Feel free to drop me a line if you've got any questions or concerns about the monitor! I'd be glad to help however I can.
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