Whas up

The last day of summer. The laaaaaaaaast day of summer. Woe is me.

The Bug is at her first full day of daycare. The Bean is at camp. I have a day to sit around and do nothing (or do something) and I've been looking forward to it but I feel oddly misplaced without them. Like a puzzle piece lying under a sofa somewhere - meaningless and unidentifiable without the other pieces.

Tomorrow I'll be sitting through hours upon hours of dreadful meetings the in no way apply to me. So I'm looking forward to that. Well, I am looking forward to gainful employment. Bedrest is hard enough, but if you happen not to qualify for short term disability (I had not been with my employer long enough to qualify), it can be an economical train wreck. We were incredibly luck to have parents willing and able to float us a loan on very good terms. We'll start paying that back in January after a few months to recover.

I was so, so, so excited to hear that Ms. Heathen has gotten a BFP - between cycles no less. I don't talk about it much because it is uncomfortable still - but we conceived the Bug the same way. Why uncomfortable? Everyone who has gone through IF can attest to why they hate hearing those stories. They usually have that "see, they just relaxed and boom!" subtext to them. So I didn't tell most of my non-IF friends that it happened that way to avoid an "I told you so!" or being the protagonist in their handy "cycle break BFP" story they would go and tell all their IF friends to make them feel "better." Weird, right? I didn't say it was an assisted cycle, I just didn't say either way and they didn't ask. Ok, then with IF friends I don't mention it - and I'm not sure why. Does it feel like I cheated? Like I was posing as IF when I failed 3 Clomid, 3 IUI and 1 IVF cycles? Or maybe I just think there are times people don't want to hear a story like that, it's hard to know when, so I keep it under my cap.

Anyway, so happy for Ms. Heathen, and I'll be thinking about her during that nail-biting first trimester.